How good are you at letting go?
Is it easy for you to let go of friendships, clothes, dreams, objects, expectations, habits that are no longer aligned?
Can you think of the last thing you knew you had to let go, but decided to keep anyway?
It isn’t easy. It’s so normal to get attached and comfortable within our current state. Even thinking about making the change, you’re probably having overwhelming or emotional thoughts going through your mind.
But the capacity and skill of letting go is such a valuable practice to work on if you want to expand yourself, build the life of your dream and succeed in business.
To move forward you must let go. To feel light and navigate through life with more ease, you have to accept the things you need to leave behind, both externally and internally. This skill allows you to accept change with more adaptability, move through these seasons with more joy, feel grounded and strong about your life choices and feel the acceptance that what you have or who you’re with are all part of your intentional decision.
Letting go is an act of joy and trust in the life you’re building.
Understand that letting go is a decision.
First and foremost, realize that you’re holding on to something, someone or the memory of a physical object. Before you make any decisions, raise your awareness around how this thing is affecting you.
Observe how it feels. Accept that at one time it served you. Thank it…and then move on.
For objects, ask yourself:
- Does it fit with my desired vibe & lifestyle?
- Do I love it today or I am attached to the memory of the past joy it brought me?
- Does it bring me joy and lightness?
- Do I keep thinking about getting rid of it, but I can’t seem to?
For friends, ask yourself:
- Do I enjoy spending time with them?
- Does the relationship elevate me and bring me joy?
- Are we there for each other in a balanced and healthy way?
- Am I interested in the topics of discussion or activities we tend to share?
- Does it feel easy and fun to stay in touch or am I always avoiding them?
- Do I really want to spend my precious time with that person?
For habits, ask yourself:
- How am I being rewarded for keeping this behavior?
- Do I believe I can change & grow?
- Have these processes & patterns become my identity (one I no longer feel aligned with)?
- Does my future, ideal self act this way?
- Does this bring me closer to my dream self?
These answers are where it all begins.
You have to realize that some of your situations could be holding you back, creating unnecessary noise in your life or taking you away from fully living in the moment as your true self. You have to be clear and loud (with yourself first, then others) that from now on, things are going to be different!
Write down your decision and the joy it will bring you after you move towards this change.
For example, the best way to let go of a bad habit, like snoozing your alarm too many times before getting up, is to transform your thinking and turn it into a new positive habit in your life. You could use an affirmation like this:
”I am a morning person, I do not identify myself as being someone that hits the snooze button. I wake up early because it allows me to have breakfast in peace and take time to wake up slowly. ”
For clothes, feelings or people, focus on writing down the decision, along with the feelings associated to it. What about these emotions are no longer serve you? What feelings do you want to welcome into your life instead?
”I only keep in my life objects that are aligned with my vision and bring me joy. I refuse to stay attached to old memories, potential or feelings of guilt about giving things away. I choose ease and joy. ”
For each situation you encounter, try to remind yourself that once the decision is made, the biggest part is over. By making the decision, you choose to no longer ruminate about past feelings, doubt and fear of the future or live in an illusion of control.
By making the decision, you choose to live with more ease and ultimately bring yourself back to the present moment.
It is often hard to let go because we idealize or hold tight to the past while also trying to predict the future. Center yourself back to the present, take a deep breath and ask: “Do I really need this in my life right now?” The answer will flow.
How to activate the how?
It’s all about taking tiny steps and slowly implementing more and more mindfulness into your life. There are three things you want to work on:
1. Living in the moment: Practice being present and calm in the moment by using meditation, yoga, breathing and other mindfulness techniques in your life. My little guide to meditation is a great way to get started.
2. Allow yourself to experience your emotions fully to motivate action: This means that when you feel stuck in feelings or when the attachment is too strong to let go of, let the emotion sink in first. You want to feel it and let it flow. Write everything that crosses your mind down around it or talk to a friend. Be with it for a length of time before moving into aligned action.
3. Take small steps towards letting go: Ask yourself “what is the smallest action I can take right now?” Start from there and just take it one small step at a time. For example:
- Feeling overwhelmed by your amount of clothes? Try throwing old underwear first and see where that leads.
- Feeling angry at someone? Try writing a letter expressing it. As well as forgiveness and compassion. Even if it never gets sent.
- Feeling attached to your house and unable to move? Try painting the walls and changing things around. Then observe how you feel. Move ahead from there.
Practice self-love here, Gorgeous. Practice accepting new things in as you grow stronger in your ability to let go. Accept the current season you are experiencing, turn towards gratitude, forgive yourself and others, focus on the things you have the power to control and then, take action.
So I ask you now: what do you have control over right now that you desire to let go of?
Reach out and let me know, Goddess.